Ingredients for Inner Peace - How to Get Your Priorities in Order

Would you agree that we are all looking for inner peace in our lives? Whether people realize it or not, that is really what we are all seeking - a way to do away with the chaos in our lives.

It is only when you align all your actions with your priorities that you will experience peace and success in all endeavors and be all that you can be.

This has been a lesson that I have learned the hard way and one that I have to continually remind myself of.

You have probably all heard me rave about my favorite book, Time Power: The Revolutionary Time Management System That Can Change Your Professional and Personal by Charles R. Hobbs. It has changed my thinking and my life in so many ways. It helped clearly define my priorities and put them in order. It has been amazing! Even though the book is about "time" management it really is about "life" management. It takes a lot of time to go through the book, and I am still not finished with it, but it is well worth ALL the time I have put into it! The book is now out of print, but a few used copies are still lurking around.

I thought I would take some time to share with you why I love this book so much:

Why is this book so transformational? What does it teach?

Well, first of all, if you want to get your life together and have any kind of control over it instead of it controlling you, Hobbs suggest these things:

1. Make a list of what you value most; identify your highest priorities in life.
Hobbs calls these unifying principles. Do you value honesty, integrity, family, God, leadership, responsibility, friendships, etc.? What about faith, humility discipline. Make a list of all the things that are most important to you. Be thorough and honest. Some people start our with only a few and add more in the coming weeks and months, while others write down many upfront. It depends on you and what works for you.

2. Since the priorites you make a list of are broad, the next step is to rewrite each principle as an action statement. For example, if you wrote down "honesty" as a unifying principle, you would now write something like "be honest." "Family might become "support my family." Whatever it means to you and causes you to rise to action.

3. Make sure your unifying principles are the noblest of ideas and mutually compatible. If you write down "become wealthy whatever the cost" that will be in conflict with your other principles, because when faced with the decision to be wealthy or honest or have a good family the honesty and family will be the ones that suffer. What will happen is you will push aside everything that is really important to you and lose them. That will leave you more empty than you could have imagined. Simply make sure they are all compatible and can work together.

4. Write a paragraph of clarification under each unitying principle you wrote down. Be clear about what it means.
An example of one I wrote out is:
"Be a woman of integrity. Be honest, trustworthy, consistent, dependable and reliable. Be someone that people can count on to be there for them. Always do what you say you will and make your actions in line with your values and priorities." Doesn't that make me accountable!

5. Prioritize the list. This one took me quit a bit of time to do, but as Hobbs says "your list of unifying principles is the most important list you will ever prioritize. The order you select can make a huge difference in how you perform." Will you love yourself before you neighbor or vice versa? Take some time to think about these things.

In his book he gives a series of questions to ask yourself to help you priortize them in the best order.

6. Evaluate your performance over the past few weeks and months. Have you lived up to this order? You probably have in some areas and not in others. That is very typical. That is the purpose of doing this exercize. It will bring you in touch with reality. This will show you what you need to work on. This is the point where I saw that I was mostly doing the opposite of what was really important to me and saw the need for real change in my life.

For example, if one of your unifying principles is to be honest, you might ask yourself if you have been totally honest. Have you stretched the truth any to try to get your way or make yourself look good?

7. Bring your performance in line with your unifying principles. The best way to accomplish this is to schedule some time to yourself every morning when you completely cut yourself off from everything. At this time read over your unifying principles and focus on what is really important to you. This will help you to achieve concentration of power in your life.

Do you own a business? First lay out your personal unifying principles and then lay out the ones for your company. Personal priorities must always come first.

Well, maybe this will help you as much as it did me and give you a taste of why I love this book so much.

What is your feedback? Was this list helpful to you? What have you found helpful in keeping your priorities in order?

How Big are You?

I have this shirt from my college days that has this quote on it by John Donne

No man is

an Island,


entire of


itself; every


man is a


piece of


the


Continent,

a part


of the


main....

I have been thinking about this quote a lot and how it goes along with many of my blog posts on Steps to Happiness. I wanted to share it as a reminder that the world is bigger than we are. Let's continue to think about what we can do to make a contribution to this world.

What contribution will you make today......?

Steps to Happiness - Part 7 The How to's of an Attitude of Gratitude

To read the precious articles in this series please go to:

Are You a Puppet on Strings? - Taking Back Control of Your Life
Steps to Happiness – Part 2Steps to Happiness - Part 3 - Does this Stuff Really Work?
Steps to Happiness – Part 4 - Who is Master?
Steps to Happiness – Part 5 - Choose What Kind of Chicken You'll be before an Egg Hatches
Steps to Happiness - Part 6 - Happy People Don't Seek Happiness

A thankful heart is the parent of all virtues.

- Cicero

This last article on Steps to Happiness has come to be my favorite although I didn't know it would at the time. This gratititude thing has presented itself to me over and over again and I soon came to see that as Cicero said it truly is the "parent of all virutes." The more this idea presents itself and the more I think about it the more I come to see that it is the foundation of all the other steps. Maybe it should have been first. But, then again maybe the other steps are necessary in order to be grateful.....I guess you could look at it both ways. Either way, I'm just being constantly reminded that I need improvement in this area of my life (and for that I'm grateful!).

As this idea kept presenting itself me I was refered to a book. After researching the book I can say that it will be my next purchase (soon) and one that I can recommend to my readers. It is called Thanks!: How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier. I can't say it's a "new science," but it certainly looks like something we can all learn from. (Don't you love how in this world of blogging we can end a sentence with a preposition.:) I always wanted to do that. My English teachers would not be proud. :))

When we take on this new attititude (really, it's like a whole world view) and TRULY INTERNALIZE it, it changes how we see EVERYTHING and how we think and act and treat everyone including ourselves.

Well, enough babbling......


Gratitude....


Does it ever seem like you just don’t have anything? Do you often find yourself complaining about the things you don’t have? Are you not getting what you want out of relationships? These are serious issues for many people and it seems like a solution is nowhere in sight. So what can be done about it?

Developing and maintaining an attitude of gratitude is a must in order to find solutions to these problems and to lead a life of happiness. Without this attitude one will lead a miserable life at best, but with it the blessings abound. So the question arises, “If it is so important then what is it and how do I achieve it?” That’s the question I asked for a long time. Discovering the secret was life transforming.

I remember the first time that I encountered someone who had a true spirit of gratitude. I totally could not understand it. I remember thinking “I wish I could be like that.” – not realizing that I really could be. She had always been one of my favorite people, but it wasn’t until this day that I figured out why. Her husband was basically in a vegetable state and at the point of death and she said to me, “He may not live, much longer. I’m just thankful for the time we’ve had together.” I thought, “Wow, that is an amazing attitude!”

What is an attitude of gratitude?


Before we go any further, we need to recognize that attitude is a mindset; it’s a way of life, a constant way of being – of looking at things. It is something that we internalize. We define gratitude as being thankful. So we could define attitude of gratitude as a constant spirit or state of thankfulness.


So how do I develop this attitude?

First, and probably the most obvious recommendation, look around at all the people who have it worse than you do. There is always someone out there that is in worse shape than you are. If you’re not convinced then watch the news (although I try not to do that because it is so negative.) You will always find someone who is in a more troubling situation than you. It will put you in your place very fast.

Second, recognize that EVERY blessing you have is a gift from God – everything from, a roof over your head, to food to eat, to (hot) water to take a bath, to the people in your life, to the air that you breath, to life itself, to time. Not only is it a gift from God, it is a gift from God that you do not even deserve. This is not a “poor pitiful me, I’m not good enough for anything” attitude. It is exactly the opposite - recognizing how truly blessed you are and realizing that we are all sinful people that God chooses to bless anyway. He just blesses those people much more who live their lives for Him (I am not talking monetarily, although it can be included).

Truly happy people recognize that everything they have is not only a gift that they don’t deserve, but that it is a gift to be used for God’s glory. (This attitude changes how you treat everyone.) God really blesses these people. They also recognize that any of it could be taken away at any time and that is okay because they never really even deserved it in the first place.

When you view everything as a gift something almost magical happens. These things begin to transform into something beautiful. If we treat the people in our lives as a gift, then our relationships start to change and take on a whole new beautiful form.

Third, focus on what you DO have, not on what you do not have. There’s a secret. It goes like this: What you focus on expands. If you think about and focus on what you do not have you will just keep having nothing because nothing expanded is still nothing. If you focus on what you do have, you will be amazed at the blessings that come into your life. (Focusing on positive things always creates more positive thoughts. Focusing on negative things always creates more negative thoughts.)

Fourth, give of your abundance – your newly discovered blessings- cheerfully (even if it seems like very little). You always get back in direct proportion to what you give. If you give a little, you get a little back. If you give a lot you get a lot back.

Remember how we deal with life is always a choice. From experience, I can tell you it is well worth finally choosing gratitude.

Exercises:

1. Make a list of all your blessings. Read the list at least twice a day.
   
2. When you start to think about all the things you don’t have, just replace it with 3 things that you do have (and your mind will show you even more blessings that you do have.)
   Ex. If you only have $2 to you name. Think “Wow, I have $2, instead of thinking I ONLY have $2. Then think of two other blessings to go along with it. Remember someone out there has lost everything they owned in some tragic event. Even if you have lost everything you own, be thankful for life itself and the opportunities ahead of you instead of focusing on the problem itself.
   

Steps to Happiness - Part 6 - Happy People Don't Seek Happiness

We are nearing the end of our articles on Steps to Happiness. Thank you for joining us.

To read the previous articles in this series go to:

Are You a Puppet on Strings? - Taking Back Control of Your Life

Steps to Happiness – Part 2
Steps to Happiness - Part 3 - Does this Stuff Really Work?

Steps to Happiness – Part 4 - Who is Master?

Steps to Happiness – Part 5 - Choose What Kind of Chicken You'll be before an Egg Hatches

In our last article we discussed what happy people say to themselves every day and how they view things. As promised, in this article we will talk about why happy people are able to view things as they do.

Who is it all about?

So here it is…. the secret that ALL happy people possess…. They realize the world is bigger than themselves – that the world does not revolve around them. What do we mean exactly by this?
Happy people are not focused on their own happiness. They are not seeking happiness. They are seeking to bring others happiness.

Happy people go about their lives looking for ways to enhance other people’s lives. They are seeking ways to bring a smile to someone else’s face and heart. They seek peace and joy for others.

And why do they do this? Let’s take this even a step further – to the real reason…

Who is it really about?
They realize that life is all about God, not about themselves.

Happy people realize their purpose for being here in this world. They realize that they are here to bring glory to God so they seek to know God and to form and maintain a relationship with Him. They seek to bring God glory in all they do. That includes bringing others joy.

The Void

I realize that for some people that I have made a bold statement, but you see, as long as someone does not have a relationship with God there will ALWAYS be a hole, a void in their lives - something missing. This point can be argued, but it does not change the fact that a person will always have this void that can only be filled by God and a relationship with Him. It's the way we are made.

Someone can refuse to accept this and go live the life they choose and do whatever they want, but they will always be brought back to this truth. They will always have this void unless and until they form a relationship with God, realize it’s all about God and then seek to make others happy. Filling this void gives people purpose and meaning. This is why happy people are able to look at everything as an opportunity – an opportunity to bring glory to God.

It is important to note that a true relationship with God takes commitment, but the joys and rewards are innumerable…. way beyond what anyone could ever imagine!!!

What Now?

So the question arises… How do I come to know God and form a relationship with Him? The best free resources I have found are

http://www.wbschool.org/ and
www.housetohouse.com/hth/freebies/

Exercises:

Use the above resources to learn about God and form a relationship with Him.

As you go throughout your day look for ways to bring joy to others. Act on it.

Steps to Happiness – Part 5 - Choose What Kind of Chicken You'll be before an Egg Hatches

Thank you for following along in our series on Steps to Happiness.
Here are the links to the previous articles in this series:
Are You a Puppet on Strings? - Taking Back Control of Your Life
Steps to Happiness – Part 2
Steps to Happiness - Part 3 - Does this Stuff Really Work?
Steps to Happiness – Part 4 - Who is Master?
In our first few articles we discussed some ways to take back our puppet strings so that we could have a grasp on happiness. In our last article we began talking about some ways to prevent handing our puppet strings to other people, things and situations.Today we will continue the discussion of prevention.

How Do We Deal with the Inevitable?

In step four we mentioned that there was a secret that happy people have learned since they have knowledge of the thought/emotion order….. If it is true that we can have control over our thoughts then we can conclude that we can choose our thoughts, emotions and reactions AHEAD OF TIME.

How do I choose my thoughts ahead of time?

Happy people get up every day and say something very similar to these words to themselves:

• “I can choose evil or good today. I choose good.”

• “I can choose to think negatively today or I can choose to think positively. I choose to think positively.”

• “I can choose to think about bad things going on my life and in the world or I can think about the good things going on and the good things I can do. I choose to THINK about the good things going on and I choose to DO good.”

• “I can think about all the things I do not have or I can think about all that I do have. I choose to think about all that I do have.”

• “I can choose to think about the parts of my body that don’t work quiet right or hurt or I can be glad for the ones that do work right and don’t hurt.” I choose to be glad for the ones that do work right and don’t hurt.”

• “I can choose to see and look for the bad in every person and thing or I can see and look for the good and potential in every person and thing. I choose to see and look for the good.”

• “I realize anything can happen today. That’s o:k because I’m bigger than any problem that arises. I choose to look for the good and opportunity in it.”

Let’s talk for a moment about outside circumstances….

1. You see, happy people choose to be happy no matter what comes up, no matter what outside circumstances arise. They CHOOSE AHEAD OF TIME to look for the GOOD in any and EVERY circumstance that arises.

2. Happy people live with the realization that any thing can come up or happen at any time. They simply choose not to fall apart with each bump that comes up in the road. They choose not to live in a fairy-tale land expecting that everything will be perfect and rosy and nothing will ever go wrong.They realize that bad things happen to everyone including themselves.Thinking otherwise will only be setting themselves up for failure.Since bumps in the road are inevitable they program their mind to think, “bump = opportunity.”

So does this mean that happy people love everything? - that there is not anything that a happy person does not like?

No. There are things that a happy person does not like - negativity and evil being the two biggest things. They have simply programmed their mind to THINK OPPORTUNITY WITH EVERY THING AND EVERY MOMENT instead of programming it for gloom and doom.Gloom and doom are not even an option in their mind.

Does this mean that happy people are never sad?

Absolutely not.Are they sad much less often? You bet. When the inevitable sadness comes they evaluate it. If it’s merited like the death of a loved one then they allow themselves to feel it, but choose not to get lost in it forever. They choose a time to grieve and they choose to grow from it and continue on with their lives. They choose to become better for it, not bitter.The grieving process is necessary. They then can choose to turn this into an opportunity to help comfort others in the same situation.

Next time, we will discuss the reasoning behind why happy people are able to think in these ways.

Exercises:

• Remember four key words we used in this discussion: choose, good, positive, and opportunity.

• Remember life is like a bank account. You withdraw from what you've put in – positive or negative. The choice is yours.

• Copy the statement from the previous paragraph and all the quotes from the beginning of the article onto a note card or piece of paper. Make one more copy.Keep one beside your bed.

Read it every day when you wake up and every night before you go to bed for 30 days.Keep the other copy with you. If you find yourself struggling, pull it out and read it. Just give it 30 days.See if you and everyone around you do not notice a difference.Share some things that you use to prevent yourself from getting so upset when when those inevitable things happen?

Recommended reading on this subject:
The Choice

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How to Make Your Day More Productive

Daily Evaluation
Do you ever feel like your day is spinning hopelessly out of control? I can identify! I am currently going through a book, Time Powerby Charles Hobbs, that is making me really think about things and do some major needed changes in my life. While he doesn't mention it specifically (or hasn't really yet anyway), this idea I'm going to blog about, it has certainly made me think a lot about it. The idea, the thought, is: evaluating your day at the end of each day.

Time Powerhas caused me to evaluate my entire life more than I ever have or knew that I could. I think it will be the most life changing thing I've ever done in my adult life. He has you to evaluate everything about your values and the way you live, but more on that in another post.....

Important or Urgent?
So this idea of daily evaluation..... Since I am now evaluating my life more, I have been thinking more at the close of each day about how I have spent my time, my day. I have come up with a list of questions to use to evaluate my day at it's close. I hope they are helpful to you as well. I think I am going to start ranking each question on a scale from 1-10. Here are the questions:

Was it productive and efficient?

Did I do what I set out to do at the beginning of the day?

Did I waste my time?

Did I let fear and procrastination get the best of me?

Did my thoughts, attitudes and actions reflect my values and the significant people and things in my life? (Were my actions throughout the day a reflection of what is truly important to me?)

Did I spend my time working toward my clearly defined goals?

Or did I waste my time on things that were simply urgent, but not even remotely important? Did I rush around like a crazy person who has no control of time or her life in any way, "putting out fires" as some put it?

Or did I sit around watching TV all day or doing something meaningless like that?

For me, my struggle is putting out the insignificant fires - the things screaming for my attention that are urgent but not important. Many people get caught up into these things. If you feel like your life is spinning out of control asking yourself these questions can help get you focused.


What Next?
After ranking each question, the next question to ask is: "How can I improve? How can I make tomorrow better? Be specific and write down the answers to this question. Then at the beginning of each day, after you have gotten dressed for the day, look over this list of how to improve, along with your life goals. Then make a specific list of how to make your day match up with your goals. You may just be amazed at how much time you waste. I know I am amazed!

Time Power

Remember this quote by president Dwight Eisenhower: "Most things which are urgent are not important, and most things which are important are not urgent."

Winning Through Adversity Part 2

Yesterday, we began discussing the steps necessary to win through adversity - how to use problems and a positive attitude for your advantage. Today we will continue this discussion. As we noted in the last post, everybody has problems arise so knowing how to deal with it is crucial.

5. Develop and maintain a deep spiritual relationship with your creator, God.
Many times people forget God is there until some tragic event happens and then they turn to God. While it is definitely good to turn to God during these times, if we have a continual abiding relationship with Him all the time it is so much easier to face any problems that arise. He even promised that He will work all things together for good to those that love Him and in my experience that has ALWAYS been true. For more information you can visit www.wbschool.org

6. Figure out if the problem is something that you can change or not.
Often we worry over things that we have no control over.

7. If it is something that you can not change make a resolution to let go of it. It is hard to function properly in aspect of life if you are preoccupied with something over which you have no control. It waste many precious hours. If you can not control it decide to change your attitude about it. It is so liberating to do.

8. If the problem is something you can change, then take a long hard look at it and DECIDE to change it. Program your mind to automatically look for the solution in any problem. This has been one of the single biggest things that has helped me to deal with adversity. When you focus on the problem itself it only gets bigger and bigger. When you tell yourself there is a solution and start looking for it great things happen. Your mind begins to go wild looking for a solution and good comes about as you go to action implementing the solution. Problems are negative. Solutions are positive.

Success Through A Positive Mental Attitude

9. Whether the problem is something that you can change or not, look for the good in it.
Usually I try to make it a rule to never assume anything. But this a a big exception.... Always assume that good is hidden in each difficulty. If you believe that you will find the good. Train your mind to think of a problem as a good thing. W. Clemment Stone is know for saying "Great!" whenever a problem arises. Was he successful?? You better believe it!!Always look for opportunities and you will always find them. This is true not only in adversity, but as you go through out each and every day. It's a matter of programming the mind that way.

10. Believe it is exactly what you need at the present time.
This is one of my favorites! Assume that whatever circumstance you are currently facing is exactly what you need to best reach your goals and be successful. Wow!!! How powerful is that!! Assume that God has given you this exact problem to help you be who you need to be and do what you need to do, to help you expand and grow. Michael Jordan says it this way... "I succeeded because I failed." In other words, he trained his mind to think that each failure was exactly what he needed to teach him the lesson he needed.

Go face whatever life throws at you!!!

Steps Needed to Win through Adversity

Well, we all go through it. It's called adversity. It's called problems. It's called trails. It's called struggles. It's called whatever you want to call it, but we must all admit that it happens to all of us. No one can escape them. We can live our lives in such a way as to avoid some of them and hopefully we are all working to do that, but things do come up. So if they are inevitable what can we do about them? How can we win over them and come out on top and even become better because of them? That's what we will talk about today. As I think about all the ingredients necessary to come out on top this may become a series in stead of just one post... It's so good I can't write it all in one post :)

1. Recognize that Problems Do Happen.
As we have already noted, problems do happen. Don't be foolish enough to think they will never happen to you, because they do happen to EVERYONE. Don't go around expecting bad things to happen or be paranoid. That will only make things worse. Instead, simply recognize the fact that anything can happen. Recognizing this fact, helps us to be prepared when things do come up. We're not shocked and taken off guard. Thinking they will never happen to you only sets yourself up for failure. I heard a wise person say one time that you're either in a problem now, coming out of one or about to enter one.

2. Decide Ahead of Time How You Will React.
Since we know that problems will come up decide ahead of time to be positive. Decide ahead of time that you will come out on top. Decide ahead of time that you will look for the good in each and every problem. It all starts with a decision. If you don't decide ahead of time how you will react, then you will be devastated with each and every problem.

Success Through A Positive Mental Attitude

3. Look at the Big Picture.
This requires you to HAVE a big picture. In the whole scheme of things how important is this? Will it really matter in one week, one month, one year, ten years or 100 years from now? Sometimes, simply asking yourself that question will eliminate your frustration all together and you can give it up.

The big picture requires you to have vision and goals and priorities. Know where you are going and what's important to you. Step back and look at things. How does this problem fit into all of this? Does it really fit into your vision and goals? If not, maybe it's not worth worrying about. Actually, just knowing and laying out a clear vision will prevent you from even considering some things as problems. If you have a clear vision, you may be able to just laugh at some things. If the problem does fit into and effect your vision and priorities follow the rest of the principles laid out here.

4. Focus on the Future.
Again, this requires you to see the big picture and have a clear vision. Know where you are going. Whatever you are facing, focus on the future, instead of the past. Our natural tendency is to turn toward the past and dwell on past failures that remind us of this particular problem. That will only make things worse as that will cause us to be dwelling on the negative. Focusing on the future forces us to think on the positive. Focusing on the past can easily get us into blaming mode, whether that be blaming others or ourselves for this and previous problems. Instead look forward and focus on where you want to be and take responsibility to move yourself in that direction. Focusing on the problem and the past only makes the problem bigger.

Make a decision to start implementing these steps steps today. You CAN come out on top!

More for next time....

Where is Your Company Headed?

My husband is currently getting his masters degree in engineering management. Basically, it's a business degree for engineers. The principles are all the same whether it's engineering or a small business. He's learning all the ingredients necessary to run a successful business. In one of his classes his teacher compared the vision of a company to a rubber band. I thought it was worth looking into some more.

From what my husband can remember this idea is talked about in The Fifth Discipline: The Art & Practice of The Learning Organization - a book that I will be looking into some more. The analogy is that on one end of the rubber band is you. At the other end is your vision - where you see yourself going. This teacher defined vision as a short succinct, and inspiring statement of what the organization intends to become and to achieve at some point in the future, often stated in competitive terms. It describes aspirations for the future, without specifying the means that will be used to achieve those desired ends. It is the big thing is you want to accomplish - what you want to be known for or what you want your business to be known for. It should be unique and something you feel passionate about.

What happens when you have vision is the vision pulls you in the directions you want to go just like a rubber band. Everything you do is based upon that vision and is guided by it. It becomes you. All the strategies and goals you lay out and put into practice is guided by that vision. It pulls everything together. It makes everything you do worthwhile. It gives you meaning to what you are doing. This is so powerful. It is huge. Without a clear vision you might as well not even bother doing anything because you will be flailing around aimlessly going nowhere because you don't even know where you are going.

Once your vision is in place then you can lay out a strategy to reach the other end of the rubber band. Your strategy will lay out how you plan to accomplish this vision. In a business this is often done by becoming an expert or authority in a specific area. Strategy is more detailed than your vision. Once you have the vision and strategy down, you can then lay out specific measurable goals with time frames to make the vision come about.

The Fifth Discipline: The Art & Practice of The Learning Organization

The Fifth Discipline Fieldbook

Urgent or Important?

I have come across this quote before. I find it disturbing almost and I think I should. I think it's meant to be disturbing - to make us think about what is really important and where our priorities are and what we should be spending our time doing. What do I need to reevaluate in my life???......

"Most things which are urgent are not important, and most things which are important are not urgent."

- President Dwight Eisenhower

Suicide Prevention Prayer

Yesterday morning I was awaken from sleep by my cell phone ringing that I forgot to turn off the night before. The caller was informing me that someone I love was talking about committing suicide. What a scary and startling way to wake up! The person did get some help and did not follow through with it thankfully. Since I was awaken so suddenly by it, it was as if everything I knew to do went out the door.

After things calmed down, I began to think about how I would handle the situation differently if it happened again and I began to look for opportunities in it. I began to think about what I would say to this person if there was a next time. Somehow my mind led me to a prayer that I could help this person pray and I just had to write it down. It turned into not only a prayer that I could help this person pray if that situation arose again, but I think really more importantly it turned into a prayer that we can pray every day so that our minds never get to the point of even thinking about suicide. I decided to post that prayer here for everyone's benefit.

The main thing it reminds us of is to see the big picture and keep our focus on it.

Please feel free to use this prayer and refer this to anyone you think could use it - or better yet just refer it to everyone you love. Let's make an effort to prevent suicide!

It also turned into a good reason to be and/or the blessings of being a Christian - if you need more info on becoming a Christian please refer to http://www.wbschool.org/

Here is the prayer:

"Dear Father, life is hard. So often it really just does not seem fair. Help me to remember that you never promised it would be easy, but instead that you would always be there for me and give me strength, comfort and wisdom when I turn to you and that I can have peace just resting in that.

Father, I realize that I am a sinful creature and that even though I do not deserve your love and forgiveness, you continually pour it out on me anyway. You are such an awesome God and I am so blessed.

Father, sometimes I really struggle and do not know all the answers and that is hard, but I realize that you are way bigger than any of my problems and that I can handle anything with
you on my side.

Father, so many times it is easy to get caught up in life’s daily problems and I think the world is against me and that there is no use in trying anymore. Please help me to remember that life is all about you and bringing glory and honor to you and that it is not about me. That is so hard to see
sometimes.

Father, so often when struggles arise all I can think about is the problem and how it affects ME. Help me not to try to avoid all of life’s problems because they are inevitable, but help me to focus on the solution to the problem and opportunity contained in it and how I can use it to your glory, not on the problem itself. For when I focus on the problem it only gets bigger, but help me to remember that good and opportunities can come from EVERYTHING if I look for it and let it.

Father, some people are mean and say cruel things. Help me to remember that just because someone says or does something that does not mean it is true. Help me to remember that it is only true of me if I choose to make it true of me. Help me to remember that you not only made me, but that you made me in your image!! Help me to remember that no one can harm my thoughts unless I give them permission.

Father, so many things do not go like I want them to. Give me the wisdom to discern between the things I can change and the things I can not. Help me to have the right attitude toward the things I can not change and to give them up to you. Help me to remember that the only thing and person I can control is myself – my thoughts and my actions. Help me to give up all other control to you, for the burden is too much for me.

Father, help me to remember that when I allow the first negative thought to come into my head that I am giving Satan an open invitation to come in and invade in my mind and have a party. Dear Father, help me to recognize Satan’s tactics and when he knocks on the door and help me to check to make sure the locks are bolted shut and invite you to come in instead for a spiritual feast. Help me to turn my thoughts to your blessings and toward what I can do to serve you.

Father, I realize that not everyone will give me approval even though I would like them to do so. That can hurt, but please help me to forgive them and remember that as long as I am looking outward and seeking approval from others that I will be miserable at best. Help me to instead look inward and to look to you to find more ways to love you and bring glory to you and to
look for ways to help others to feel approved by me instead.

Father, help me to remember that any time I expect others to look down on me that they will because I have already given them permission. Help me not to expect this from others, but help me to remember that any time I expect to find the good in
others I will find it.

Father, help me to remember that you want to send blessings my way. Please help me to be open to receiving them.

Father, there are many things that cloud my vision. Please help me to most of all remember that my purpose for being here is to bring glory and honor to YOU by taking YOU into the world. Help me to remember that it is all about YOU and living for YOU and seeking ways to show your love, peace and happiness to the world. Help me to do the things that would cause people to look at me and say, “Behold the Lamb” as John said of Jesus in the Bible. Help me to live in such a way that people see JESUS instead of seeing me.

It is only when I lose sight of this vision that I focus on my problems and how big they are and how they affect me, instead of remembering who I am and that I am here for YOUR GLORY and to use my problems FOR YOU. Father, I realize that only when I am seeking to shine your light to the world does life make any sense or have any meaning. All else is vanity.

Father, make my life all about you.

In Jesus’ name, amen."

Nelson's NKJV Study Bible

Update: If this prayer helped you you may also enjoy a series of posts that I am in the middle of posting on Steps to Happiness. It begins with Are You a Puppet on Strings? - Taking Back Control of Your Life on March 18, 2008. You may also consider subscribing to this blog to learn more about inner peace and happiness. I hope I can help many many people find this peace that is possible to possess.

Success or Failure? - Never Give Up

Have you ever failed at anything (or multiple things) and because of that thought that you were a failure and that you would never succeed at anything? Maybe this will make you think:

Thomas Edison's teachers said he was "too stupid to learn anything." He was fired from his first two jobs for being "non-productive." As an inventor, Edison made 1,000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the light bulb. When a reporter asked, "How did it feel to fail 1,000 times?"
Edison replied,

"I didn’t fail 1,000 times. The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps."

Remember you are only a failure if you listen to yourself and others and who tell you so. Resolve today to turn your failures into steps.

The Law of Success In Sixteen Lessons by Napoleon Hill (Complete, Unabridged)

Success - Who Would I Be IF.....

Can anyone be successful?

As I was sitting at the feet of the most influential woman in my life last week listening to her speak, a thought occurred to me that I could not put out of my head. The lady who introduced the speaker told all about her life, but the one thing that stuck out the most to me was who her parents were. Her parents were very well known and influential people among the group I was with and to many others. After all the time I had known her personally I had forgotten that her parents were who they were.

So the question kept ringing in my ears: "Can someone really be great and successful if they did not have successful well known parents?" What if you did not grow up in an environment where you were always encouraged and told you could do anything you wanted if you put your trust in God? What if you grew up in a negative environment? I asked these questions because, like many of you, to a large part that was my reality. (I am not saying this to put down or dishonor or blame my parents in any way. They simply raised us in the only way they knew how and the way they had been taught. I had great parents who taught me to love and serve God and that I am very thankful for.) But the encouragement to inspire to greatness was not there.

Rags to Riches?

So where does this leave us? Is it possible to reach heights if we've never been encouraged to do so? You better believe it? I'm living proof. Is it more difficult? Sure, but the thing to note is it is absolutely possible - if and only if we tell ourselves it's possible. It only takes a reprogramming of the mind. If our subconscious mind has always been programmed for unsuccess we must recognize that, bring it to consciousness and reprogram it for success.

There are hundreds and hundreds of stories of people who almost literally went from rags to riches. One of my favorites is the story of Mike Brescia who went from being homeless to one of the most successful salesman of all times. His story is a must read.

How do we do it?

So how does it happen? How do we make something of ourselves if we must start from scratch? How do we reprogram our minds once we see the need to do so?

First, we must let go of the past. As long as we are stuck in the past and blaming anyone for our current situation we will never go forward. Instead we must focus on what we can learn from the past and how to use it to move forward.

Second, we must believe anything is possible. Without this belief we will go nowhere.

Third, submerge yourself in learning from those who have been successful. Read, listen to and learn everything you can from them. If you REALLY believe it is possible you will seek out and find the information you need. Your mind won't let you stop.

Fourth, which really goes before number two: after the question hit me about if you had to have super encouraging parents to be a success, the next question that came to mind was:

Who would I really be if I had never been told I couldn't do anything or if it had been instilled in me that I could do absolutely anything if I put my trust in God?

That is a question that we should continually ponder. This requires us to dream of things that others consider impossible. Have I mentioned before about believing anything is possible? That's no accident!

Fifth, once we have determined the person we want to be, the next step is to write out a description of the person you want to be and what you want to accomplish.

Sixth, Act out the person you have DECIDED to become.

Seven, Act as thought it were IMPOSSIBLE TO FAIL It's all about deciding to and acting on the decision without letting the possibility of retreat enter your mind. Persevere no matter what.

Go for it!!!!

Recomended audio for reprogramming the mind:
Think and Grow Rich (Original, Unabridged Edition 12 CD Set)

How to "Turn a Deaf Ear"

What can we learn from frogs about happiness? Last week I heard the story of the frog race for the first time. It is a very worthy lesson about happiness that would benefit everyone if they really took to heart and life the lessons contained in it. I thought it was so beneficial I just had to share it. Here it is:

There once was a bunch of tiny frogs who arranged a climbing competition. The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower.

A big crowd had gathered around the tower to see the race and cheer on the contestants. The race began. No one in the crowd really believed the tiny frogs would reach the top of the tower.

Heard throughout the race were statements such as, “Oh, way too difficult,” “They will never make it to the top,” “Not a chance they will succeed,” and “The tower is too high.”

The tiny frogs began collapsing, one by one—except for those who, in a fresh tempo, were climbing higher and higher. The crowd continued to yell, “It is too difficult! No one will make it!”

More tiny frogs got tired and gave up. But ONE continued to climb higher and higher. This one refused to give up!

At the end of the race, all had given up climbing the tower except for the one tiny frog who, after a big effort, was the only one who reached the top!

All of the other tiny frogs wanted to know how this one frog managed to do it. They asked him how he had found the strength to succeed and reach the goal.

It turned out that the winning frog was DEAF!!!!

So what can we learn? The main point I would like to make is that we can all choose to be "deaf." That's right - we can choose to be "deaf" and "turn a deaf ear." The question is - how do we do it? We can choose ahead of time - beginning right now - that we will not listen to anyone - no one - who says negative things to us or utters discouraging words.

We can CHOOSE right NOW to:

• be happy and
• reach our goals no matter what anyone says.

When I learned this a while back it was one of the most liberating things, if not the most liberating things I ever discovered. Is this difficult? It can be, especially if you have been used to letting yourself be discouraged with everything every one says.

So how do you do it then?

CHOOSE to - right NOW. Remember that no one can rob you of your happiness or keep you from reaching your goals unless YOU give them permission. Life can only be grand if we CHOOSE to make it grand. I would also like to add that we can also CHOOSE not to let any outside circumstances get us down as well. CHOOSE today to be happy and to go for your dreams no matter what anyone says or no matter what happens. Is is possible? Just give it a try. It is a strong person who can turn a deaf ear. The rewards are innumerable!!

I would also like to add that not everyone is fortunate enough to know this lesson. To help them out, be a frog that says only encouraging positive words to others. The difference it can make can set the world on fire for good. Not only will the ones you encourage benefit, but the satisfaction it brings you will grow and warm your heart beyond measure.

Recommended reading:

The Choice

The 80/20 Rule of Time Management and Life

I came across this information and am not sure where it came from, but it most certainly sounds like Brian Tracy's information since it mentions the phrase "eat that frog" which Brian Tracy talks a lot about.

I found this to be a very eye opening and informative article on time and life management that I am going to consider and practice now. It really makes you consider how you're spending your time and life.

APPLY THE 80/20 RULE TO EVERYTHING

The 80/20 Rule is one of the most helpful of all concepts of time and life management. It is also called the “Pareto Principle” after its founder, the Italian economist Vilfredo Pareto, who first wrote about it in 1895. Pareto noticed that people in his society seemed to divide naturally into what he called the “vital few”, the top 20 percent in terms of money and influence, and the “trivial many”, the bottom 80 percent.

He later discovered that virtually all economic activity was subject to this principle as well. For example, this principle says that 20 percent of your activities will account for 80 percent of your results, 20 percent of your customers will account for 80 percent of your sales, 20 percent of your products or services will account for 80 percent of your profits, 20 percent of your tasks will account for 80 percent of the value of what you do, and so on. This means that if you have a list of ten items to do, two of those items will turn out to be worth five or ten times or more than the other eight items put together.

Number of Tasks versus Importance of Tasks
Here is an interesting discovery. Each of the ten tasks may take the same amount of time to accomplish. But one or two of those tasks will contribute five or ten times the value of any of the others.

Often, one item on a list of ten tasks that you have to do can be worth more than all the other nine items put together. This task is invariably the frog that you should eat first.

Focus on Activities, Not Accomplishments
The most valuable tasks you can do each day are often the hardest and most complex. But the payoff and rewards for completing these tasks efficiently can be tremendous. For this reason, you must adamantly refuse to work on tasks in the bottom 80 percent while you still have tasks in the top 20 percent left to be done.

Before you begin work, always ask yourself, “Is this task in the top 20 percent of my activities or in the bottom 80 percent?”

The hardest part of any important task is getting started on it in the first place. Once you actually begin work on a valuable task, you will be naturally motivated to continue. A part of your mind loves to be busy working on significant tasks that can really make a difference. Your job is to feed this part of your mind continually.

Eat That Frog!: 21 Great Ways to Stop Procrastinating and Get More Done in Less Time

Motivate Yourself
Just thinking about starting and finishing an important task motivates you and helps you to overcome procrastination. Time management is really life management, personal management. It is really taking control of the sequence of events. Time management is having control over what you do next. And you are always free to choose the task that you will do next. Your ability to choose between the important and the unimportant is the key determinant of your success in life and work.

Effective, productive people discipline themselves to start on the most important task that is before them. They force themselves to eat that frog, whatever it is. As a result, they accomplish vastly more than the average person and are much happier as a result. This should be your way of working as well.

7 Rules for Success

Michael Lee's 7 Rules for Success:

1. Value your time more than money.
2. Set realistic goals and make sure to write them down!
3. Give unconditionally and show gratitude.
4. Focus on one thing at a time.
5. Always be hungry for knowledge, and act on what you've learned.
6. Affirm and visualize your desires.
7. Never listen to anyone who says "you can't do it."

Success Through A Positive Mental Attitude