How Big are You?

I have this shirt from my college days that has this quote on it by John Donne

No man is

an Island,


entire of


itself; every


man is a


piece of


the


Continent,

a part


of the


main....

I have been thinking about this quote a lot and how it goes along with many of my blog posts on Steps to Happiness. I wanted to share it as a reminder that the world is bigger than we are. Let's continue to think about what we can do to make a contribution to this world.

What contribution will you make today......?

Steps to Happiness – Part 5 - Choose What Kind of Chicken You'll be before an Egg Hatches

Thank you for following along in our series on Steps to Happiness.
Here are the links to the previous articles in this series:
Are You a Puppet on Strings? - Taking Back Control of Your Life
Steps to Happiness – Part 2
Steps to Happiness - Part 3 - Does this Stuff Really Work?
Steps to Happiness – Part 4 - Who is Master?
In our first few articles we discussed some ways to take back our puppet strings so that we could have a grasp on happiness. In our last article we began talking about some ways to prevent handing our puppet strings to other people, things and situations.Today we will continue the discussion of prevention.

How Do We Deal with the Inevitable?

In step four we mentioned that there was a secret that happy people have learned since they have knowledge of the thought/emotion order….. If it is true that we can have control over our thoughts then we can conclude that we can choose our thoughts, emotions and reactions AHEAD OF TIME.

How do I choose my thoughts ahead of time?

Happy people get up every day and say something very similar to these words to themselves:

• “I can choose evil or good today. I choose good.”

• “I can choose to think negatively today or I can choose to think positively. I choose to think positively.”

• “I can choose to think about bad things going on my life and in the world or I can think about the good things going on and the good things I can do. I choose to THINK about the good things going on and I choose to DO good.”

• “I can think about all the things I do not have or I can think about all that I do have. I choose to think about all that I do have.”

• “I can choose to think about the parts of my body that don’t work quiet right or hurt or I can be glad for the ones that do work right and don’t hurt.” I choose to be glad for the ones that do work right and don’t hurt.”

• “I can choose to see and look for the bad in every person and thing or I can see and look for the good and potential in every person and thing. I choose to see and look for the good.”

• “I realize anything can happen today. That’s o:k because I’m bigger than any problem that arises. I choose to look for the good and opportunity in it.”

Let’s talk for a moment about outside circumstances….

1. You see, happy people choose to be happy no matter what comes up, no matter what outside circumstances arise. They CHOOSE AHEAD OF TIME to look for the GOOD in any and EVERY circumstance that arises.

2. Happy people live with the realization that any thing can come up or happen at any time. They simply choose not to fall apart with each bump that comes up in the road. They choose not to live in a fairy-tale land expecting that everything will be perfect and rosy and nothing will ever go wrong.They realize that bad things happen to everyone including themselves.Thinking otherwise will only be setting themselves up for failure.Since bumps in the road are inevitable they program their mind to think, “bump = opportunity.”

So does this mean that happy people love everything? - that there is not anything that a happy person does not like?

No. There are things that a happy person does not like - negativity and evil being the two biggest things. They have simply programmed their mind to THINK OPPORTUNITY WITH EVERY THING AND EVERY MOMENT instead of programming it for gloom and doom.Gloom and doom are not even an option in their mind.

Does this mean that happy people are never sad?

Absolutely not.Are they sad much less often? You bet. When the inevitable sadness comes they evaluate it. If it’s merited like the death of a loved one then they allow themselves to feel it, but choose not to get lost in it forever. They choose a time to grieve and they choose to grow from it and continue on with their lives. They choose to become better for it, not bitter.The grieving process is necessary. They then can choose to turn this into an opportunity to help comfort others in the same situation.

Next time, we will discuss the reasoning behind why happy people are able to think in these ways.

Exercises:

• Remember four key words we used in this discussion: choose, good, positive, and opportunity.

• Remember life is like a bank account. You withdraw from what you've put in – positive or negative. The choice is yours.

• Copy the statement from the previous paragraph and all the quotes from the beginning of the article onto a note card or piece of paper. Make one more copy.Keep one beside your bed.

Read it every day when you wake up and every night before you go to bed for 30 days.Keep the other copy with you. If you find yourself struggling, pull it out and read it. Just give it 30 days.See if you and everyone around you do not notice a difference.Share some things that you use to prevent yourself from getting so upset when when those inevitable things happen?

Recommended reading on this subject:
The Choice

Did you find this post helpful? Consider subscribing to this blog.

Winning Through Adversity Part 2

Yesterday, we began discussing the steps necessary to win through adversity - how to use problems and a positive attitude for your advantage. Today we will continue this discussion. As we noted in the last post, everybody has problems arise so knowing how to deal with it is crucial.

5. Develop and maintain a deep spiritual relationship with your creator, God.
Many times people forget God is there until some tragic event happens and then they turn to God. While it is definitely good to turn to God during these times, if we have a continual abiding relationship with Him all the time it is so much easier to face any problems that arise. He even promised that He will work all things together for good to those that love Him and in my experience that has ALWAYS been true. For more information you can visit www.wbschool.org

6. Figure out if the problem is something that you can change or not.
Often we worry over things that we have no control over.

7. If it is something that you can not change make a resolution to let go of it. It is hard to function properly in aspect of life if you are preoccupied with something over which you have no control. It waste many precious hours. If you can not control it decide to change your attitude about it. It is so liberating to do.

8. If the problem is something you can change, then take a long hard look at it and DECIDE to change it. Program your mind to automatically look for the solution in any problem. This has been one of the single biggest things that has helped me to deal with adversity. When you focus on the problem itself it only gets bigger and bigger. When you tell yourself there is a solution and start looking for it great things happen. Your mind begins to go wild looking for a solution and good comes about as you go to action implementing the solution. Problems are negative. Solutions are positive.

Success Through A Positive Mental Attitude

9. Whether the problem is something that you can change or not, look for the good in it.
Usually I try to make it a rule to never assume anything. But this a a big exception.... Always assume that good is hidden in each difficulty. If you believe that you will find the good. Train your mind to think of a problem as a good thing. W. Clemment Stone is know for saying "Great!" whenever a problem arises. Was he successful?? You better believe it!!Always look for opportunities and you will always find them. This is true not only in adversity, but as you go through out each and every day. It's a matter of programming the mind that way.

10. Believe it is exactly what you need at the present time.
This is one of my favorites! Assume that whatever circumstance you are currently facing is exactly what you need to best reach your goals and be successful. Wow!!! How powerful is that!! Assume that God has given you this exact problem to help you be who you need to be and do what you need to do, to help you expand and grow. Michael Jordan says it this way... "I succeeded because I failed." In other words, he trained his mind to think that each failure was exactly what he needed to teach him the lesson he needed.

Go face whatever life throws at you!!!

Suicide Prevention Prayer

Yesterday morning I was awaken from sleep by my cell phone ringing that I forgot to turn off the night before. The caller was informing me that someone I love was talking about committing suicide. What a scary and startling way to wake up! The person did get some help and did not follow through with it thankfully. Since I was awaken so suddenly by it, it was as if everything I knew to do went out the door.

After things calmed down, I began to think about how I would handle the situation differently if it happened again and I began to look for opportunities in it. I began to think about what I would say to this person if there was a next time. Somehow my mind led me to a prayer that I could help this person pray and I just had to write it down. It turned into not only a prayer that I could help this person pray if that situation arose again, but I think really more importantly it turned into a prayer that we can pray every day so that our minds never get to the point of even thinking about suicide. I decided to post that prayer here for everyone's benefit.

The main thing it reminds us of is to see the big picture and keep our focus on it.

Please feel free to use this prayer and refer this to anyone you think could use it - or better yet just refer it to everyone you love. Let's make an effort to prevent suicide!

It also turned into a good reason to be and/or the blessings of being a Christian - if you need more info on becoming a Christian please refer to http://www.wbschool.org/

Here is the prayer:

"Dear Father, life is hard. So often it really just does not seem fair. Help me to remember that you never promised it would be easy, but instead that you would always be there for me and give me strength, comfort and wisdom when I turn to you and that I can have peace just resting in that.

Father, I realize that I am a sinful creature and that even though I do not deserve your love and forgiveness, you continually pour it out on me anyway. You are such an awesome God and I am so blessed.

Father, sometimes I really struggle and do not know all the answers and that is hard, but I realize that you are way bigger than any of my problems and that I can handle anything with
you on my side.

Father, so many times it is easy to get caught up in life’s daily problems and I think the world is against me and that there is no use in trying anymore. Please help me to remember that life is all about you and bringing glory and honor to you and that it is not about me. That is so hard to see
sometimes.

Father, so often when struggles arise all I can think about is the problem and how it affects ME. Help me not to try to avoid all of life’s problems because they are inevitable, but help me to focus on the solution to the problem and opportunity contained in it and how I can use it to your glory, not on the problem itself. For when I focus on the problem it only gets bigger, but help me to remember that good and opportunities can come from EVERYTHING if I look for it and let it.

Father, some people are mean and say cruel things. Help me to remember that just because someone says or does something that does not mean it is true. Help me to remember that it is only true of me if I choose to make it true of me. Help me to remember that you not only made me, but that you made me in your image!! Help me to remember that no one can harm my thoughts unless I give them permission.

Father, so many things do not go like I want them to. Give me the wisdom to discern between the things I can change and the things I can not. Help me to have the right attitude toward the things I can not change and to give them up to you. Help me to remember that the only thing and person I can control is myself – my thoughts and my actions. Help me to give up all other control to you, for the burden is too much for me.

Father, help me to remember that when I allow the first negative thought to come into my head that I am giving Satan an open invitation to come in and invade in my mind and have a party. Dear Father, help me to recognize Satan’s tactics and when he knocks on the door and help me to check to make sure the locks are bolted shut and invite you to come in instead for a spiritual feast. Help me to turn my thoughts to your blessings and toward what I can do to serve you.

Father, I realize that not everyone will give me approval even though I would like them to do so. That can hurt, but please help me to forgive them and remember that as long as I am looking outward and seeking approval from others that I will be miserable at best. Help me to instead look inward and to look to you to find more ways to love you and bring glory to you and to
look for ways to help others to feel approved by me instead.

Father, help me to remember that any time I expect others to look down on me that they will because I have already given them permission. Help me not to expect this from others, but help me to remember that any time I expect to find the good in
others I will find it.

Father, help me to remember that you want to send blessings my way. Please help me to be open to receiving them.

Father, there are many things that cloud my vision. Please help me to most of all remember that my purpose for being here is to bring glory and honor to YOU by taking YOU into the world. Help me to remember that it is all about YOU and living for YOU and seeking ways to show your love, peace and happiness to the world. Help me to do the things that would cause people to look at me and say, “Behold the Lamb” as John said of Jesus in the Bible. Help me to live in such a way that people see JESUS instead of seeing me.

It is only when I lose sight of this vision that I focus on my problems and how big they are and how they affect me, instead of remembering who I am and that I am here for YOUR GLORY and to use my problems FOR YOU. Father, I realize that only when I am seeking to shine your light to the world does life make any sense or have any meaning. All else is vanity.

Father, make my life all about you.

In Jesus’ name, amen."

Nelson's NKJV Study Bible

Update: If this prayer helped you you may also enjoy a series of posts that I am in the middle of posting on Steps to Happiness. It begins with Are You a Puppet on Strings? - Taking Back Control of Your Life on March 18, 2008. You may also consider subscribing to this blog to learn more about inner peace and happiness. I hope I can help many many people find this peace that is possible to possess.

Are the Successful Destined for Success?

As a young man, Abraham Lincoln went to war a captain and returned a private. Afterwards, he was a failure as a businessman. As a lawyer in Springfield, he was too impractical and temperamental to be a success. He turned to politics and was defeated in his first try for the legislature, again defeated in his first attempt to be nominated for congress, defeated in his application to be commissioner of the General Land Office, defeated in the senatorial election of 1854, defeated in his efforts for the vice-presidency in 1856, and defeated in the senatorial election of 1858. At about that time, he wrote in a letter to a friend, "I am now the most miserable man living. If what I feel were equally distributed to the whole human family, there would not be one cheerful face on the earth."

The Success Principles(TM): How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be

7 Rules for Success

Michael Lee's 7 Rules for Success:

1. Value your time more than money.
2. Set realistic goals and make sure to write them down!
3. Give unconditionally and show gratitude.
4. Focus on one thing at a time.
5. Always be hungry for knowledge, and act on what you've learned.
6. Affirm and visualize your desires.
7. Never listen to anyone who says "you can't do it."

Success Through A Positive Mental Attitude

Positive Choices

The art of positive choices helps you to create the life you want. Positive choices help you to discover what truly makes you happy and realign your priorities. Life is a series of additions and subtractions. You control the calculator.

---Gail McMeekin

Impossible to Fail

This is a quote I just came up with. Part of the quote is from an Earl Nightingale CD I just listened to.
I believe he was quoting from Dorothea Brande in Wake Up and Live

Dream of things that others would consider impossible, believe as though they are already a reality, and act as though it were impossible to fail.

Finding Purpose in Life

I found this incredible quote that sums up what takes place when you find a great purpose to throw yourself into:

"When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bonds; your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new, great and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive, and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be."
Patanjali (c. 1st to 3rd century BC)

The BIG Picture

When you're focused on the big picture you don't see problems. You see opportunities.
When you don't see the big picture you focus on your problems. You don't see the opportunities.

Positive Attitude - All Tied Together

This post is a continuation of the previous post. It will be necessary to read it in order for this one to make sense.

Let's look at the next two ingredients necessary for a positive attitude and then we'll will tie them all together and give some examples.

#2. Not setting yourself up for failure.
Expecting things to turn out one way when there is a good chance it will turn out another way is a setup for failure. This means that you replace the word "will" with "might" or "may" for things you have no control over. So often we say to ourselves "this WILL happen this way" when we may very well have no control over it. When a woman comes home with a new hair cut and expects her husband to notice she is likely setting herself up for failure. Many men are not in tune to those details. Instead of saying, "he will love my new haircut." Saying, "he may or may not notice my haircut is a better choice.....

#3. Looking ahead. What good can come from this? W. Clement Stone is noted for saying, "Great!" when he was faced with an obstacle. He saw each struggle or obstacle as an opportunity for improvement - to make things better. It requires a future focus - remembering to see the overall picture (#1 from previous post) and how this obstacle can help you to better achieve your vision and goals. You see, when you have your priorities and focus set, no obstacle will hold you back - only present more opportunities. When you define the overall picture you can handle ANY situation that comes up - and grow from it! This is powerful stuff!!!

Let's look at an example: Let's say that you get married and then you have no focus in your marriage of where you want it to go. You have no real picture of how you want you marriage to be. You just get up every day and do the old mundane things life requires of you to get by and never really pay attention to your spouse. You don't work to make your marriage better because you're not seeing the big picture of how you want it to be. You might even say to yourself or your spouse that you want it to be good, but until you have made that a priority and painted a clear vivid picture of what a good (or great) marriage is to you it absolutely will NOT be a good (or great marriage).

Priorities, a clear vivid picture, focus, commitment and real belief that it is possible (belief is crucial) will cause your mind to start engaging in the right direction. Your mind will start to create ways to make it happen. And where you lack knowledge your mind will lead you to find the answers. Vision and focus make your mind open and your eyesight will become 20/20. And then you will have the most beautiful marriage ever. You will not fall apart with every little thing that comes up in the marriage because you see the big picture and are committed. Bear it mind that it does take commitment from both partners, but very often (not always, but very often) just a change in your attitude can create a change in your spouse's attitude which will create open communication to talk about ways to improve the marriage.

So how does not setting yourself up for failure fit into the picture? When you realize that you can't control your spouse and what he/she does you start changing your language. You become responsible for the things you can change - YOU! You start saying he/she "may" do this (whatever it is you expect or even ask of them) instead of saying he/she "will" do this and if they don't you are disappointed and fall apart. What if you told yourself that "he/she may do this, but if they don't that's o:k because I'm committed to the big picture of making our marriage the best it can be no matter what?" Our disappointments will diminish to very little just by changing one or two words and our attitude. This can be applied to any goals or priorities in life.

So what about looking ahead? How does it fit in. What about those obstacles that do arise? What if something does come up in the marriage that you just can't agree on? With a clear focus and commitment, you look for and find ways that you can use this to make your marriage stronger and better. Just believe that it can make your marriage better and you will find a way for it to do so. (Belief leads to action.)

Well, what if I do everything I can to make our marriage turn out beautifully just the way I want it and my spouse is just not in the game? What then?

What is the even bigger picture? What if your overall picture was to choose to be happy and have a positive attitude - no matter what?

What if you saw the real big picture - that we are here to bring glory to God - always - no matter what?...... Then you will find a way to use EVERY situation to bring glory to God............ And you will have so much peace in your life - because peace and a positive attitude do not depend on ANY situation.

Only when your mind is open you will start to see things crystal clear.

Positive Attitude: Open Mind Equals 20/20 Vision

This is likely to be a long (but VERY IMPORTANT) post because I just had a big revelation this morning....

Maybe I'll turn it into more than one post....

The last week or two I have had this mental block on moving forward and achieving my goals and have been working to try to figure out what it is and this morning as I was reflecting on something else my eyes were opened.

In our classes that we have been going through on acquiring the attitudes and skills necessary to lead a happy and peaceful life we were taught the ingredients that make up a positive attitude. I wrote them all down, knew it sounded good and was right, but I have struggled with what 2 of them meant exactly. It was as if I had a mental block on that also.

So this morning I determined that I was going to have a positive attitude today and was going over all the ingredients that make up a positive attitude. There was that block on those 2 things that I couldn't quiet figure out so I thought about it and started writing things down and the more I wrote the more my eyes were open and everything was crystal clear. It was great.

Let me first go over these first 3 ingredients for a positive attitude and then I will explain my revelation.
1. Seeing the overall picture
2. Not setting yourself up for failure.
3. Looking ahead. Asking "What good can come from this (situation)?"

I was having trouble distinguishing between number 1 and 3. They just seemed the same.

Here's what I finally was able to see:

Seeing the overall picture does mean looking into the future like number 3, but it most definitely precedes number three - or makes number 3 possible to do. Number 1 means you have vision and focus. You have goals and are focused on them. You know what you want out of life. You have defined your priorities and set them in order. You know exactly what is important to you and you act accordingly.

You don't allow yourself, your life to get caught up in the insignificant things that don't matter and neglect the things that really do matter and just drift through life. You don't just lay around and watch TV all day - not that a little TV is bad, but you don't let it consume your life because you have no purpose or meaning. Positive thinking and Seeing the overall picture requires you to define exactly what is important to you and BECAUSE it is important to you.... you act accordingly. You do not let your life somehow slip away from you without even realizing it has BECAUSE you had no focus..... When you see the overall picture, each day you wake up with vision, focus, priorities and goals. You know precisely what is important to you so you engage in positive thinking to live it out and make it happen. When you have vision you don't wait for things to happen TO you. You not only look for opportunities, but you MAKE OPPORTUNITIES. You MAKE things happen the way you want.