Steps to Happiness - Part 7 The How to's of an Attitude of Gratitude

To read the precious articles in this series please go to:

Are You a Puppet on Strings? - Taking Back Control of Your Life
Steps to Happiness – Part 2Steps to Happiness - Part 3 - Does this Stuff Really Work?
Steps to Happiness – Part 4 - Who is Master?
Steps to Happiness – Part 5 - Choose What Kind of Chicken You'll be before an Egg Hatches
Steps to Happiness - Part 6 - Happy People Don't Seek Happiness

A thankful heart is the parent of all virtues.

- Cicero

This last article on Steps to Happiness has come to be my favorite although I didn't know it would at the time. This gratititude thing has presented itself to me over and over again and I soon came to see that as Cicero said it truly is the "parent of all virutes." The more this idea presents itself and the more I think about it the more I come to see that it is the foundation of all the other steps. Maybe it should have been first. But, then again maybe the other steps are necessary in order to be grateful.....I guess you could look at it both ways. Either way, I'm just being constantly reminded that I need improvement in this area of my life (and for that I'm grateful!).

As this idea kept presenting itself me I was refered to a book. After researching the book I can say that it will be my next purchase (soon) and one that I can recommend to my readers. It is called Thanks!: How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier. I can't say it's a "new science," but it certainly looks like something we can all learn from. (Don't you love how in this world of blogging we can end a sentence with a preposition.:) I always wanted to do that. My English teachers would not be proud. :))

When we take on this new attititude (really, it's like a whole world view) and TRULY INTERNALIZE it, it changes how we see EVERYTHING and how we think and act and treat everyone including ourselves.

Well, enough babbling......


Gratitude....


Does it ever seem like you just don’t have anything? Do you often find yourself complaining about the things you don’t have? Are you not getting what you want out of relationships? These are serious issues for many people and it seems like a solution is nowhere in sight. So what can be done about it?

Developing and maintaining an attitude of gratitude is a must in order to find solutions to these problems and to lead a life of happiness. Without this attitude one will lead a miserable life at best, but with it the blessings abound. So the question arises, “If it is so important then what is it and how do I achieve it?” That’s the question I asked for a long time. Discovering the secret was life transforming.

I remember the first time that I encountered someone who had a true spirit of gratitude. I totally could not understand it. I remember thinking “I wish I could be like that.” – not realizing that I really could be. She had always been one of my favorite people, but it wasn’t until this day that I figured out why. Her husband was basically in a vegetable state and at the point of death and she said to me, “He may not live, much longer. I’m just thankful for the time we’ve had together.” I thought, “Wow, that is an amazing attitude!”

What is an attitude of gratitude?


Before we go any further, we need to recognize that attitude is a mindset; it’s a way of life, a constant way of being – of looking at things. It is something that we internalize. We define gratitude as being thankful. So we could define attitude of gratitude as a constant spirit or state of thankfulness.


So how do I develop this attitude?

First, and probably the most obvious recommendation, look around at all the people who have it worse than you do. There is always someone out there that is in worse shape than you are. If you’re not convinced then watch the news (although I try not to do that because it is so negative.) You will always find someone who is in a more troubling situation than you. It will put you in your place very fast.

Second, recognize that EVERY blessing you have is a gift from God – everything from, a roof over your head, to food to eat, to (hot) water to take a bath, to the people in your life, to the air that you breath, to life itself, to time. Not only is it a gift from God, it is a gift from God that you do not even deserve. This is not a “poor pitiful me, I’m not good enough for anything” attitude. It is exactly the opposite - recognizing how truly blessed you are and realizing that we are all sinful people that God chooses to bless anyway. He just blesses those people much more who live their lives for Him (I am not talking monetarily, although it can be included).

Truly happy people recognize that everything they have is not only a gift that they don’t deserve, but that it is a gift to be used for God’s glory. (This attitude changes how you treat everyone.) God really blesses these people. They also recognize that any of it could be taken away at any time and that is okay because they never really even deserved it in the first place.

When you view everything as a gift something almost magical happens. These things begin to transform into something beautiful. If we treat the people in our lives as a gift, then our relationships start to change and take on a whole new beautiful form.

Third, focus on what you DO have, not on what you do not have. There’s a secret. It goes like this: What you focus on expands. If you think about and focus on what you do not have you will just keep having nothing because nothing expanded is still nothing. If you focus on what you do have, you will be amazed at the blessings that come into your life. (Focusing on positive things always creates more positive thoughts. Focusing on negative things always creates more negative thoughts.)

Fourth, give of your abundance – your newly discovered blessings- cheerfully (even if it seems like very little). You always get back in direct proportion to what you give. If you give a little, you get a little back. If you give a lot you get a lot back.

Remember how we deal with life is always a choice. From experience, I can tell you it is well worth finally choosing gratitude.

Exercises:

1. Make a list of all your blessings. Read the list at least twice a day.
   
2. When you start to think about all the things you don’t have, just replace it with 3 things that you do have (and your mind will show you even more blessings that you do have.)
   Ex. If you only have $2 to you name. Think “Wow, I have $2, instead of thinking I ONLY have $2. Then think of two other blessings to go along with it. Remember someone out there has lost everything they owned in some tragic event. Even if you have lost everything you own, be thankful for life itself and the opportunities ahead of you instead of focusing on the problem itself.
   

Steps to Happiness - Part 6 - Happy People Don't Seek Happiness

We are nearing the end of our articles on Steps to Happiness. Thank you for joining us.

To read the previous articles in this series go to:

Are You a Puppet on Strings? - Taking Back Control of Your Life

Steps to Happiness – Part 2
Steps to Happiness - Part 3 - Does this Stuff Really Work?

Steps to Happiness – Part 4 - Who is Master?

Steps to Happiness – Part 5 - Choose What Kind of Chicken You'll be before an Egg Hatches

In our last article we discussed what happy people say to themselves every day and how they view things. As promised, in this article we will talk about why happy people are able to view things as they do.

Who is it all about?

So here it is…. the secret that ALL happy people possess…. They realize the world is bigger than themselves – that the world does not revolve around them. What do we mean exactly by this?
Happy people are not focused on their own happiness. They are not seeking happiness. They are seeking to bring others happiness.

Happy people go about their lives looking for ways to enhance other people’s lives. They are seeking ways to bring a smile to someone else’s face and heart. They seek peace and joy for others.

And why do they do this? Let’s take this even a step further – to the real reason…

Who is it really about?
They realize that life is all about God, not about themselves.

Happy people realize their purpose for being here in this world. They realize that they are here to bring glory to God so they seek to know God and to form and maintain a relationship with Him. They seek to bring God glory in all they do. That includes bringing others joy.

The Void

I realize that for some people that I have made a bold statement, but you see, as long as someone does not have a relationship with God there will ALWAYS be a hole, a void in their lives - something missing. This point can be argued, but it does not change the fact that a person will always have this void that can only be filled by God and a relationship with Him. It's the way we are made.

Someone can refuse to accept this and go live the life they choose and do whatever they want, but they will always be brought back to this truth. They will always have this void unless and until they form a relationship with God, realize it’s all about God and then seek to make others happy. Filling this void gives people purpose and meaning. This is why happy people are able to look at everything as an opportunity – an opportunity to bring glory to God.

It is important to note that a true relationship with God takes commitment, but the joys and rewards are innumerable…. way beyond what anyone could ever imagine!!!

What Now?

So the question arises… How do I come to know God and form a relationship with Him? The best free resources I have found are

http://www.wbschool.org/ and
www.housetohouse.com/hth/freebies/

Exercises:

Use the above resources to learn about God and form a relationship with Him.

As you go throughout your day look for ways to bring joy to others. Act on it.

Urgent or Important?

I have come across this quote before. I find it disturbing almost and I think I should. I think it's meant to be disturbing - to make us think about what is really important and where our priorities are and what we should be spending our time doing. What do I need to reevaluate in my life???......

"Most things which are urgent are not important, and most things which are important are not urgent."

- President Dwight Eisenhower

Suicide Prevention Prayer

Yesterday morning I was awaken from sleep by my cell phone ringing that I forgot to turn off the night before. The caller was informing me that someone I love was talking about committing suicide. What a scary and startling way to wake up! The person did get some help and did not follow through with it thankfully. Since I was awaken so suddenly by it, it was as if everything I knew to do went out the door.

After things calmed down, I began to think about how I would handle the situation differently if it happened again and I began to look for opportunities in it. I began to think about what I would say to this person if there was a next time. Somehow my mind led me to a prayer that I could help this person pray and I just had to write it down. It turned into not only a prayer that I could help this person pray if that situation arose again, but I think really more importantly it turned into a prayer that we can pray every day so that our minds never get to the point of even thinking about suicide. I decided to post that prayer here for everyone's benefit.

The main thing it reminds us of is to see the big picture and keep our focus on it.

Please feel free to use this prayer and refer this to anyone you think could use it - or better yet just refer it to everyone you love. Let's make an effort to prevent suicide!

It also turned into a good reason to be and/or the blessings of being a Christian - if you need more info on becoming a Christian please refer to http://www.wbschool.org/

Here is the prayer:

"Dear Father, life is hard. So often it really just does not seem fair. Help me to remember that you never promised it would be easy, but instead that you would always be there for me and give me strength, comfort and wisdom when I turn to you and that I can have peace just resting in that.

Father, I realize that I am a sinful creature and that even though I do not deserve your love and forgiveness, you continually pour it out on me anyway. You are such an awesome God and I am so blessed.

Father, sometimes I really struggle and do not know all the answers and that is hard, but I realize that you are way bigger than any of my problems and that I can handle anything with
you on my side.

Father, so many times it is easy to get caught up in life’s daily problems and I think the world is against me and that there is no use in trying anymore. Please help me to remember that life is all about you and bringing glory and honor to you and that it is not about me. That is so hard to see
sometimes.

Father, so often when struggles arise all I can think about is the problem and how it affects ME. Help me not to try to avoid all of life’s problems because they are inevitable, but help me to focus on the solution to the problem and opportunity contained in it and how I can use it to your glory, not on the problem itself. For when I focus on the problem it only gets bigger, but help me to remember that good and opportunities can come from EVERYTHING if I look for it and let it.

Father, some people are mean and say cruel things. Help me to remember that just because someone says or does something that does not mean it is true. Help me to remember that it is only true of me if I choose to make it true of me. Help me to remember that you not only made me, but that you made me in your image!! Help me to remember that no one can harm my thoughts unless I give them permission.

Father, so many things do not go like I want them to. Give me the wisdom to discern between the things I can change and the things I can not. Help me to have the right attitude toward the things I can not change and to give them up to you. Help me to remember that the only thing and person I can control is myself – my thoughts and my actions. Help me to give up all other control to you, for the burden is too much for me.

Father, help me to remember that when I allow the first negative thought to come into my head that I am giving Satan an open invitation to come in and invade in my mind and have a party. Dear Father, help me to recognize Satan’s tactics and when he knocks on the door and help me to check to make sure the locks are bolted shut and invite you to come in instead for a spiritual feast. Help me to turn my thoughts to your blessings and toward what I can do to serve you.

Father, I realize that not everyone will give me approval even though I would like them to do so. That can hurt, but please help me to forgive them and remember that as long as I am looking outward and seeking approval from others that I will be miserable at best. Help me to instead look inward and to look to you to find more ways to love you and bring glory to you and to
look for ways to help others to feel approved by me instead.

Father, help me to remember that any time I expect others to look down on me that they will because I have already given them permission. Help me not to expect this from others, but help me to remember that any time I expect to find the good in
others I will find it.

Father, help me to remember that you want to send blessings my way. Please help me to be open to receiving them.

Father, there are many things that cloud my vision. Please help me to most of all remember that my purpose for being here is to bring glory and honor to YOU by taking YOU into the world. Help me to remember that it is all about YOU and living for YOU and seeking ways to show your love, peace and happiness to the world. Help me to do the things that would cause people to look at me and say, “Behold the Lamb” as John said of Jesus in the Bible. Help me to live in such a way that people see JESUS instead of seeing me.

It is only when I lose sight of this vision that I focus on my problems and how big they are and how they affect me, instead of remembering who I am and that I am here for YOUR GLORY and to use my problems FOR YOU. Father, I realize that only when I am seeking to shine your light to the world does life make any sense or have any meaning. All else is vanity.

Father, make my life all about you.

In Jesus’ name, amen."

Nelson's NKJV Study Bible

Update: If this prayer helped you you may also enjoy a series of posts that I am in the middle of posting on Steps to Happiness. It begins with Are You a Puppet on Strings? - Taking Back Control of Your Life on March 18, 2008. You may also consider subscribing to this blog to learn more about inner peace and happiness. I hope I can help many many people find this peace that is possible to possess.

Thankfulness and Postive Thinking

With all the stress of the holidays let's remember the big picture and how truly blessed we are. As we focus on our blessings it makes positive thinking a reality no matter what's going on.