Positive Choices

The art of positive choices helps you to create the life you want. Positive choices help you to discover what truly makes you happy and realign your priorities. Life is a series of additions and subtractions. You control the calculator.

---Gail McMeekin

How "The Five Love Languages" Can Change Your Marriage

"The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman makes the New York Times best selling list for the 30th week. Let's take a look at why "The Five Love Languages" is so popular. Does this book deliver what it promises?

I would like to give my personal account of "The Five Love Languages". I was first introduced to this book about a year ago by a friend. She actually let me borrow her audio version of it and gave me a copy of the language profile questions for me and my husband to take. We answered the test questions to determine our love language and listened to the CD. I have to admit that getting past his southern drawl was a bit challenging (even though I am also from the south), but worth it. However, we didn't really put the effort into it that it called for. I was just very skeptical that each person can be boiled down into one main love language. I'll talk more about each language in just a minute.





Fortunately, I have recently been given the opportunity to give this material a second chance. I am going through "The Five Love Languages" on DVD (a recorded seminar) and the "The Five Love Languages" workbook with a group of Christians. I have to say it has made a huge impact on our marriage this time around.... Seeing the results has stamped out my skepticism.

According to Gary Chapman the filve love languages are:

• Words of affirmation
• Acts of Service
• Quality time
• Physical touch
• Receiving gifts
  

As Chapman goes into depth with each one of these we learn that what makes one person feel loved is not necessarily what makes another person feel loved. This information is so relevant in marriages. Most of the time our spouse "speaks" a different love language than we do. What happens is we speak the language to our spouse that is our main love language because that is what WE want and need in order to feel loved. Our spouse does the same for us with his/her love language. However, since we usually have a different language then often times we both go "unloved" even though we are trying. Knowledge of the love languages is key.

"The Five Love Languages" contains a test that both you and your spouse can take to determine your love language. After taking the test and reading the book, and learning exactly what each love language is you then can easily learn to speak your spouse's love language and vice versa. Then you will both feel loved. Practicing the advice and seeing the results has put aside all skepticism I once had about this book. If you follow Chapman's advice, this material has the potential to dramatically improve your marriage for life.


The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate

Five Love Languages, Member Book, UPDATED

Recipe for Happiness

Looking for happiness and meaning in life?

Happiness comes from spiritual wealth, not material wealth... Happiness comes from giving, not getting. If we try hard to bring happiness to others, we cannot stop it from coming to us also. To get joy, we must give it, and to keep joy, we must scatter it.

-John Templeton

Looking for a Change?

Are you looking for a change in your life? Are you tired of the life you are living? Try this time tested advice based on principle by Earl Nitingale in "The Strangest Secret in the World":

Write out a description of the person you would LIKE to be. Act the part of the person you have DECIDED to become.

With this advice it's impossible not to see a difference!

Lesson on Leadership

What is leadership? Is it necessary? Do you have to be happy in order to be a leader? Or do you have to be a leader in order to be happy? These are all good questions. I had a discussion with my husband last night about what leadership is. I used to have the belief that some people were born to be followers (myself in particular) and that they should stay that way and that some were born to be leaders. While I still think we are all born with natural tendencies one way or the other I think it's necessary for all of us to develop leadership skills and attitudes in many respects at least. The more I studied leadership and what it is I soon realized it is about character and integrity and taking responsibility. Are these necessary for living and for happiness??? That's up to you to decide...

General Colin Powell, a very wise and successful American leader has a lot to say about leadership. This is just one of his lessons he taught on leadership.

"Being responsible sometimes means [making people mad]."

Good leadership involves responsibility to the welfare of the group, which means that some people will get angry at your actions and decisions. It's inevitable if you're honorable. Trying to get everyone to like you is a sign of mediocrity: You'll avoid the tough decisions, you'll avoid confronting the people who need to be confronted, and you'll avoid offering differential rewards based on differential performance because some people might get upset. Ironically, by procrastinating on the difficult choices, by trying not to get anyone mad, and by treating everyone equally "nicely" regardless of their contributions, you'll simply ensure that the only people you'll wind up angering are the most creative and productive people in the organization.

Impossible to Fail

This is a quote I just came up with. Part of the quote is from an Earl Nightingale CD I just listened to.
I believe he was quoting from Dorothea Brande in Wake Up and Live

Dream of things that others would consider impossible, believe as though they are already a reality, and act as though it were impossible to fail.

Sunshine All the Time

Wherever you go, no matter what the weather,
always bring your own sunshine. - Anthony J. D'Angelo

Will Dr. Oz Make You Young?

Along our journey to finding happiness we must not forget that taking care of our health is crucial. It's definitely the time of year when everyone is thinking about their health and how to lose weight and take better care of themselves. Some people have probably already given up on their attempts to be healthier this year. Some are still going strong.

The thing to remember is that living healthy is a lifestyle change, not a diet. Diet implies something temporary. Being healthy is about replacing old bad habits with new good habits. The great thing is that when we form new good habits then they basically become second nature to us and we feel good all the time. It's a permanent change and a wonderful one.

You: Staying Young: The Owner's Manual for Extending Your Warranty

The authors purpose of this book is to show us ways to retard or slow down aging. While this book can be a little corny with it's cartoons and has a "busy" feel to it it gives ways to take care of our bodies. It first gives us knowledge into how the different systems in our bodies work and then explains to us what they need in order to be at their prime and last longer while preventing disease. I think we can all say that we would all like to prevent cancer and other diseases. Some topics of discussion are foods with specific health benefits, supplements and exercise. I particularly like learning how our bodies work and knowing what specific foods do to keep them running optimally.

Let's make a lifestyle change for the better!!!

Marvel erases Spidey-MJ Marriage

USA Today breaks the news:

In Amazing Spider-Man #545 last week, Peter and Mary Jane make a tearful deal with the devil-like character Mephisto: In exchange for saving Aunt May's life, Mephisto erases all traces of the Peter-Mary Jane marriage from memory.

In the issue out this week, subtitled Brand New Day, Peter Parker returns to his roots — young, nerdy and single. Aunt May is alive and well and Mary Jane is again just part of the cast. The marriage never happened.

What's up with this? Marvel can't erase a 21 year marriage just like that. Or can they? It's the comic world. I guess they can.

I know that many people would like to erase their marriage from existence. Sad.... What if instead we just erased our own selfishness. What if both partners just focused on what their spouse wanted instead of what they wanted. It happens over and over again that when this is put into practice - when someone focuses on pleasing their spouse that somehow their needs end up getting met too. How this world would change if we all practiced some humility - it's a win/win situation.

Fix Your Marriage. New Alternative to Counseling.

No Limits!!!!!

"The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts about reality." - Franklin D. Roosevelt

Happiness and a positive attitude require removing all limitations that we have put on God and ourselves. With God as our guide there are no possibilities of what we can do for Him. With this in mind we open ourselves up to a world of possibilities!!!

It reminds me of the saying, "There's no limit to what you can do as long as you don't care who gets the credit." Humility is key. Otherwise you will end up flat on your face.

How Meaningful is Your Dash?

Have you ever thought about what's really important? If you haven't, you won't be able to stop thinking about what's important after viewing this movie, The Dash, and reading the book. The book is written by Linda Ellis and Mac Anderson of Simple Truths. The people at Simple Truths have a real grasp on what happiness and success is.

The Dash begins by talking about someone speaking at a funeral. He refers to the dates on the person's tombstones from beginning to the end, but then goes on to say that what mattered the most was the dash between the dates - how the person lived their life - what they did that was meaningful? It then prompts us to think about what we are doing with our dash. The 3 minute movie is free to view. I love how they make the movies free to view. Simply click on the banner above and enjoy.

Let me say you will never get the full impact of this message without viewing The Dash movie and reading the book. It will change your life forever. You really will not be able to stop thinking about what you are doing with your life and if you are making your dash important. I have to say it has changed my life. I hope you allow it to change yours also. I believe this is my favorite of the Simple Truths movies and books although each one is so powerful.

We'll end here with a thought. What are you doing with your dash? What is happiness? What is important to you? Are you truly making these things priorities in your life? Have you to told the people in your life that they are special to you? Are you showing and telling them on a consistent basis? These questions are really making me think...... I think I'll go take action.

Finding Purpose in Life

I found this incredible quote that sums up what takes place when you find a great purpose to throw yourself into:

"When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bonds; your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new, great and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive, and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be."
Patanjali (c. 1st to 3rd century BC)

Blame or Be Happy

You can blame people, things or events for your unhappiness or you can be happy.
The choice is yours.